“We fear change”

Here I am, in my new house in a new town. Chose this house based on a scale of “laid-back” ness. The trick to spotting such houses are key words like “gay friendly” and a less-than-immaculately clean bathroom and an ash tray full of cig butts on the porch.

But I discovered my first day in this house that the place is slightly creepy and haunted. The radiator is from the 1920′s and makes all sorts of strange noises that sound like someone is walking on the stairs, banging on the walls, or screaming quietly (steam-like noise).

Many of the doors have locks on the outside, and my roommate showed me a “Silence of the Lambs” – type storage room that has the words “Nate’s Room” scrawled on the outside of the door.

So Monday I came down with a cold and most of the roommates are gone because school hasn’t started so I’ve been spending some time alone in my room with a possible ghost living right across the hall. Wee!

Anyway. I have also realized that I am more resistant to change than I thought. Logan is great, and it’s only one and half hours away from Salt Lake City… but it’s a very unpleasant and boring drive. I guess I really grew attached to the city — it became my home even though I’d only lived there two years. I’ll miss the bus rides, the yoga studios (there are NO yoga places here!! What!?!?!), the canyons and the people. I even miss my jobs and the people I worked with. Even my scary boss!

I feel this is my one step closer to leaving Utah forever!! I keep telling people my goal is to get out of Utah — like there is a whole world of possibilities that will open up to me once I escape. But it is possible I have come to love my prison… just as I have come to loathe/hate the comfort of being a sicky-head cooped up in my bedroom…

And once I leave, will I really find the “outside” to be all that I’ve hyped it up to be?

…Yes. I think so, yes.

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