My car was due for it’s yearly inspection last month, and I took it to one of those tiny repair shops that you see doubled up next to a smoke shop or a convenience store — one of those places that could easily be a black market weapons dealership in disguise. And they gave my car a big fat FAIL based on some cracked hoses, faulty exhaust, etc. at an estimated repair cost of about $900. Considering this total cost does not include an analysis of my car’s recent habit of starting in 3rd gear (and sometimes not even starting at all), I finally decided it was time to let “Goldie” go. She’s been a reliable old girl for the past five years… sad to say good-bye. Alas.
So I was borrowing a car for a few weeks during the transition to a new house, but now I am officially without vehicle. Fortunately, I am used to public transportation and cycling and walking. But for some reason it was so much easier when I knew I had a back-up.
My commute is like my second least favorite part of the day now, second to my job. Three bus changes to get from my new house to work and 80% of the time one of the buses will be late which means the next bus will be on time which means I have to wait 15 minutes in the hot sun while teenagers piled into their snowboarding sticker-covered Suburbans yell indecipherable phrases out the window at me as they drive by.
You see a different side of humanity as a pedestrian. A rushed, indifferent side (the drivers). And you also see the bus-riding side: the hidden “underbelly” of society (no disrespect). People in wheelchairs. People who shake the seat and mutter. People speaking Thai and French. People with long, brown, curling toenails. People who pop the zits on their boyfriend’s neck with their fingers.
Yes, I saw all of these things over the course of today. Keeps me from getting too bored, having all these great distractions.
As I was waiting for a bus on the way home from work, my new favorite song came into my head.
You know this song by Blind Faith?
“Come down off your throne and leave your body alone. Somebody must change
You are the reason I’ve been waiting so long.
Somebody holds the key
But I’m near the end and just ain’t got the time
And I’m wasted and I can’t find my way home.Come down on your own and leave your body alone.
Somebody must change.
You are the reason I’ve been waiting all these years.
Somebody holds the key.”
Man I love that song. Anyway, it resonated with me especially today, because I felt like such a bum wandering the streets just trying to get home. The lyrics are so simple, yet deep. Granted I think the song is most likely talking about drug addiction, but I think it could also mean something about leaving your earthly desires (hang-ups) behind, finding your guru (or soul mate?) and seeking a state of completion, nirvana, or happiness.
Because the only one who is holding us back from complete happiness is ourselves, our bodies, right?
Our attachments and our worries and desires and fears hold us back. Dammit.
I wish I wasn’t so attached to this world… I’ve been carrying this weight for so long (laziness, self-loathing, anxiety, impatience, mistrust and judgement of others… etc.) so long that it’s hard to imagine my life without it.
