Blood and guts.

A few months ago, I was in a Big Brothers/Big Sisters-type program, and my mentee was this 10-year-old girl who lived with her mom and two half-native American brothers. We did stuff together weekly. One time I took her to see a dance-a-thon at the college, another week we went to an easter hunt, and then one week she convinced me to watch a horror movie with her and her family. This girl loved scary stuff. Her favorite movie was “Saw III”.

So we watched this 70’s horror flick “The People Under the Stairs” about a husband and wife (you later discover they are actually brother and sister) who keep all their children locked in the basement and feed them human flesh.

If someone explained a movie synopsis like this to you, would your response be “cool sounds like a good way to spend a Thursday night” or would it be more like “Icky gah oodee bleark”?

See, the reason I ask is because I realize not everyone thinks the same way I do. This kind of thing isn’t entertainment for me. And I’m not trying to bracket horror movies as “evil” or anything. But watching a crazy man pull stuff out of a dead guy’s rib cage is still a traumatic thing for me to watch, because, you know, it should be. It should be.

Then again, I do enjoy the battle scene from “The Holy Grail” when King Arthur slices all the limbs off the Black Knight’s body.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to see the new M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Happening.”

—A brief synopsis:

So people just suddenly begin committing suicide in mass groups—first they become disoriented, then stop moving, and finally find the quickest way to kill themselves.

The pandemic is initially believed to be a bioterrorist attack, but they later find out it’s caused by a defense mechanism of plants. They start emitting a neurotoxin into the air that “turns off” the part in a human’s brain that prevents self-destruction.

Alternative title: “Revenge of the Plants!”

(bemused smile. is this a warning to mankind to stop hurting mother nature, perhaps? for some reason reminds me of that baptist church group who hold protests at funerals and hold up signs that say “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” and “God Hates Gay People” at funerals because they believe death is God’s way of reminding people to repent.

I guess a part of me believes in karma and whatever goes around comes around, but that’s a little extreme)—

Anyway, so “The Happening.”

It’s hard to take a movie seriously when it shows a zoo keeper walk purposefully into a lion cage and hold up his arms for feeding. So Monty Python-esque.

“Eat me!”

Yep. The picture speaks for itself.

Despite the near-humorousness of such morbid scenes, I was still pretty scared by this movie. So scared I had to close my eyes a few times. But even more frightening to me than the sight of mass self-mutilation is the overall “vibe” that emits like plant neuro toxins from horror films like this one (where lots of people die). This vibe of helplessness. Almost makes you feel like, what’s the worth of mankind?

“I’m a nameless character on a movie and I’m in the house all by my house I’m gonna get in the shower I hope nobody breaks in and murders me.”

After bathing in those kind of vibes for an hour or two, it’s good to step outside where it’s quiet except for the calm buzzing of cars, under the bright sun, and tell yourself that life is beautiful.